#12 Home at last


I came home last night from the hospital where I had to stay because I managed to have a lung collapse on me during the insertion of my new port. Nobody warned me that this could be a complication of putting it in, so when I was having a difficult time breathing I figured I better just tough it out and it would get better.  I mentioned it on my cancer support board and one of the women there is an OR Nurse. She informed me that what I was describing was probably a dropped lung and I needed to get to the hospital quickly. From the time I walked in the doors of the hospital they had me in a trauma room and figured out what was wrong in under a half hour. apparently they were worried about my condition because I was told they needed to put a chest tube in me and send me up to the ICU for a few days.  I was very happy that after a little convincing the Dr agreed to knock me out while he put the chest tube in me. When I woke up from that I was already in a room and the staff was doing everything and anything to make me comfortable so I have no complaints there, and my sister Elaine was looking after my blog and updating  my friends on my Breast Cancer support board. My brother brought me  the biggest bag of M&Ms I’ve ever seen and no matter how long it takes me I’ll find the bottom of that bag. I think that I’ve had so many hospital stays that this just doesn’t seem like a big deal to me, although I know it could have turned out much worse but it didn’t. My family brought me Thanksgiving dinner but I didn’t feel much like eating. I did take a little taste of each thing though…I loved the pie but everything else was really heavy and my stomach was a bit upset so I didn’t eat much. I really appreciate that they took the time to come and see that I was a part of the holiday too. I know it’s easy to forget about people when they aren’t there. I’m guilty of that myself.

I only had one problem with one nurse’s aid and I think I fixed it. I had to have a port-a-potty next to my bed because I couldn’t get to the bathroom because the chest tube wasn’t long anough…and yes I tried to get them to unplug it for just a few minutes but they wouldn’t do it. This aid came in and helped me move over to it and I asked her to wait outside for a minute and she said no. I asked her to at least wait on the other side of the curtain and she again said no. I gave up on that but when I was ready to get back into my bed she insisted on holding my arm and because I only have one leg and she was pulling my arm up she was tipping me over and I tried to tell her to let go because I was going to fall, I had to yell at her and push her away from me to get her to back off. She had the nerve to ask me why I was being so difficult? I threw her out of my room and told her not to come back. Other than her everyone else was great. I’ve had other times when I wasn’t treated very well and many Docs and Nurses and Aids that just didn’t care how I was doing but for some reason now everyone wants to do everything they can for me. I think it’s because now I’m the woman with “The Cancer” again.

I’ll have all the help I need and then some while I’m sick from the chemo, or hurt from the surgery. My husband has already made plans with my friends and family to have someone here to help me if I need them. I know my daughter is losing her mind and wants terribly to come home and I think we’ll have to see if we can make that happen. I just know she feels helpless being so far away even though there isn’t anything she can do that isn’t already being taken care of. But she’s my girl and if it’ll make her a little more at ease then she should be here with me, especially for Christmas. She always insists on taking care of me when I need help so it breaks my heart to have to make her wait to come home, but hopefully I won’t have to make her wait too long.

I’m looking forward to soaking in my tub for a long time this morning, getting dressed and going straight to my recliner to find a movie to watch. Hopefully there won’t be anything exciting happening today because I’m just too damn tired.

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