#22 Reality Check!

I met a woman today who I met through BreastCancer.org and she was exactly who I needed to talk to right now. I had never seen her before I and showed up as agreed at Mimi’s Cafe’ to meet her for lunch which she so graciously offered to treat me to because she knew I didn’t have any money and she wanted to meet up with me before we go with about a dozen other ladies on Saturday to a gift exchange organized by her at a restaurant down town. I had a bit of trouble finding a parking spot so I had to park a little farther out that I usually would and walked right up through the front doors and up to the woman who was just getting up to the desk to meet me so we could go right in to be seated at our table. We introduced ourselves right away and walked over to sit down and immediately started the most wonderful conversation I’ve had with anyone in a very long time. She was about my age and going through chemo for her third around with cancer that had been going on for many years, she looked a little bit tired (she had just yesterday had chemo) and was wearing a nice little black hat to cover her bald head but she looked about as healthy as she could be for the condition that her body is in right now. As we talked we figured out pretty quickly that no subject was off-limits and she was able to give me her views on chemo and many other treatments both medical and natural that I plan to investigate a lot more than I had planned to do. We talked about family and how she couldn’t give up her fight because she didn’t want to waste one minute that she could spend with her husband, who she said was a wonderful man, and her children and grandchildren who she would never have met if she hadn’t had all the treatments that she subjected herself to. I told her about my conflicting views on all the possible treatments for me and everything I had already gone through with my last experience with Cancer and heard some answers from her that may have changed my view on how I might be treated myself. I can’t believe that she is in such an advanced stage of Cancer and still has such a great attitude about living and what is worth living for. These are all things that haunt me on a daily basis so I had many questions for her. All of which she gladly gave me her opinion on. We definitely don’t agree on everything that we discussed however she did make me wonder if I’m making some choices for the right reasons for myself, and I now know that I have a lot more to learn about myself and how far I’m willing to go with all that’s offered to me as far as any chemo that might or might not work for me. There is never a way to know if having chemo will help at all but without it my chances of having another recurrence will be about 8O%, not a very good number I’d say. So now I find myself rethinking things I thought I was sure of when I walked into that Cafe’. I don’t know if she understands what our lunch today ment for me but I’ll be sure to let her know about that the next time I see her…and I plan to see her again in a few days at the party. From what I got out of our conversation she is one of those people who just doesn’t give up when things don’t look so good for her. Even though I think she might have been in some level of discomfort physically I know that she does her best to get through the physical problems and keep moving forward with her life not wanting to let Cancer bring her down. I have a feeling that it will eventually take her life but it won’t be because she gave up…she doesn’t have it in her to do that.(just my opinion from all that she shared with me today) I did ask her where she gets her strength to keep fighting this awful disease and she said it was simply her faith, and that if God had wanted to take her he has had many chances and didn’t take any of them. So I have a new friend, one that I hope I will have for a long time and I only hope that I can help her in some way to make up for the vision that she gave me of my own future…and it didn’t look so bad.


One thought on “#22 Reality Check!

  1. I am glad you’ve made a new friend who you can really connect with. I know you still have lots of questions. How would I know? Because I do, and I don’t know all you do. I don’t even know what questions to ask sometimes. I just know I hope you will keep reaching out to people who can shed some fresh light on cancer treatments and experiences now. I want what’s best for you these days -not 25yrs ago. You are still the only one who knows what’s right for you, I know that and am good with it.
    I want to help all I can without being obtrussive, so if I can do anything else please let me know.
    Love You, Cin *hugs*

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