#29 The tubes are out


Yesterday I had my follow-up appointment with my surgeon so she could take of the bandages and remove the drainage tubes. It hurt for a minute but I’m so happy to have them out of my body and now I’m able to start getting back to normal. I used my crutches to go up to bed last night and even though I can’t feel the skin under my arm I can still feel where she was digging around in my side and my upper arm. I feel like I’ve been burned on the skin between my elbow and my armpit. It hurt but I was able to walk up the steps on my own. I have to keep working out my muscles to try to get back all of the motion I had before. I don’t have any swelling in my arm and that has been a big weight on my mind because if I had developed swelling I wouldn’t be able to walk at all. I still have the great big ace bandage that I woke up from my biopsy with and she told me that I’m supposed to wear that around my chest to help shape the skin where she sewed me back together and that is actually very comfortable for me to wear. I have so many things that I want to get done around my house now starting with my Christmas tree and all the decorations that are all over the house. Jenn has been helping to keep the house taken care of while I couldn’t so there isn’t as much to do as there would have been so I’m happy for that. My brother Jason brought us a huge recliner that I now have in my family room and it makes the whole back-end of my house look so much nicer. Thank you Jason, now I just need to remember to pay him what he and Rick had decided on for a price, but really at the price he gave it to us for it was more like a gift. Mom was giving me grief over the broken recliner we had in that same spot before so now I don’t have to hear her bitch about that any more. Hi mom. While I was at the surgeon’s office I asked for copies of the pathology report and it says that she took out twenty-nine more lymph nodes and two had cancer in them, one was another tumor so it’s a good thing she took them out. It also said that the cancer has spread to the Vascular/Lymphatic system meaning that it’s spread to the blood  and I might have it pop up in other places but I have no idea when it will show up or where. The primary tumor ended up measuring 4.3cm which is.4cm bigger than we thought it was. Luckily she also had to remove a tatoo that I had done when I was eighteen years old, it wasn’t my fault…Rick fed me tequila. I hated that tatoo so losing it was a blessing. I thought I would have a difficult time adjusting to losing another body part but it isn’t really bothering me as much as I thought it would, I do feel a little bit lopsided but other than that I feel fine about it. I plan on calling around to find a mastectomy bra and a fake boob to put in it so I don’t look so disproportionate. I’m also going to get rid of a few summer tank tops that I obviously won’t be able to wear again so that I don’t have to look at them just hanging there. I’ve decided to talk to another oncologist because I hate the one I have now and I don’t trust him to take my feelings into consideration. I told him before that I didn’t want chemo and he got very pissy about it. I’m going to speak to one who will consider what I want before putting together a treatment plan. I also need to find out what to do about the four enlarged lymph nodes in my other arm. I had forgotten all about them until yesterday because I didn’t want to have them biopsied until after I had started to heal from the last surgery. The surgeon wants me to have them looked at again before she goes digging around in there and I think that’s a great idea. They could be swollen from a hundred other reasons other than Cancer. I’m going to see my pain Dr this morning to figure out what pain meds I need to take while I’m getting better, then next month I have to ween myself back down to lower doses of pain meds so that when I’m in a lot of pain later on they’ll still work for me. It seems like things are going alright for now. No more tumors that we know of and I’m able to get back to having a normal life again…well, normal for me anyway.

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