#33 A funny story


Yesterday my daughter Jesse came home to visit and was skimming my pool to earn money for her haircut and I was outside having a cigarette and talking to her and Rick and somehow we ended up talking about her laundry. She actually asked me if I would do her laundry and I had to laugh because I have made her do her own laundry since she was able to reach the top of the washer.(she had to climb on it though and tried to wash her clothes in the dryer with laundry soap) After I finished laughing at her for the comment I asked her if she would require me to beat her clothes against a rock or if she had whites I could throw them into the pool, with all the chlorine it should do the whites just fine, then she could fish em out later. She didn’t like that idea and decided that she would do her laundry herself like she always did. The whole throw em in the pool thing came from another incident from when she was about six years old. Rick and I had another house back then that also had a pool but because we didn’t take care of it very well it needed some serious cleaning, so I went and bought all the necessary chemicals including a five gallon bucket of blue pool die. The instructions on the bucket said that after the pool was clean and had all the other needed chemicals in it we should take one cup of the pool blue and mix it in a five gallon bucket of water and dump that bucket into the pool spreading it all throughout the entire pool, then a day later it should be perfectly clean and blue. I had asked Rick to go do that and instead of reading the directions he thought he would just dump the entire five gallon bucket into the pool and it would be beautifully blue. It didn’t work that way. After Rick came in and said that he had finished with the pool I went outside to see what it looked like. It was fluorescent purple. It was not just a little purple…it was a thick hot purple and I couldn’t even see the first step of the pool. As you might imagine, I totally freaked out and started screaming at him for doing something so stupid and not reading the directions. He thought this was the funniest thing he had ever seen and my daughter loved the color purple so she was all kinds of happy to have a purple pool. I was so pissed off that I went inside and refused to talk to Rick but I had left Jesse outside with him, I should have known better. I had this white sun dress that was all stained because I had it for a long time and wore it to clean the house, apparently Rick and my mother thought they could throw my dress into the pool full of dye and turn my favorite dress another color and that would make me happy. Nope. While this dress was soaking in the pool Jesse asked Rick if it was ok to go swimming in the lovely purple pool and my dumb ass husband sent her in to put her little bikini on and threw her in the pool. I could hear her hit the water and ran outside as fast as I could because I figured she must have accidentally fallen into the pool. She was happily swimming in this god awful purple water just as happy as can be. Oh my God, I was even more pissed at this point. I demanded her out of the water and dried her off because Rick was laughing too hard to get her out and no matter how hard I washed that girl in the shower her little body stayed purple for three days. The pool was so dark purple that one of the news helicopters saw it and put it on that evenings news. They were confused as to how that happened and said they were going to use it as a landmark from the air. Can you imagine how angry I was now that the whole city was looking at my purple pool. At that time because Jesse was always outside playing in the sun her hair was very light blond so even after her skin started to look normal again her hair stayed that color for what seemed like weeks but I think it was only about a week and a half. Way to much time for my six-year-old to have purple hair. My dress had to be thrown away, go figure. At the time I was furious about all this but now it’s just another funny story and because I’ve been writing some pretty serious stuff about me lately I thought it would be nice to show everyone that I do have a very unusual and usually very funny family. I have hundreds of funny stories and I’ll try to remember to add them in sometimes so that it isn’t all doom and gloom for the people reading my blog. Even I can only take so much of hearing about only bad things going on so I’m trying to remember that I have a great family and there is definitely never a dull moment in our house. It’s all my fault too because I’ve trained them all that way…to have fun and be different and It worked.

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3 thoughts on “#33 A funny story

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