I had an ultrasound this morning to check to see if the enlarged lymph nodes under my left arm had grown and three of the four didn’t show up on the screen at all. Only one of them was even visible and it didn’t look as if it had grown so that would indicate that there isn’t any cancer growing on the left side. I was a little bit worried about it ever since I was told about them, but because my cancer is a very fast growing carcinoma any cancer would be easily seen and identified on an ultrasound if it had grown. Rick called ahead to have the hospital put all of the scans that I’ve had at the hospital in the past year put on a disc for the new doctors to see and compare so that they can give me a definite answer as to whether or not I have anything more to worry about. I do have another appointment this afternoon with the lung specialist to have him tell me what the problem with my lungs is. I’ve had different doctors tell me it was three different things and because one of them said it was mets I want to find out for sure because that could change the treatment plan all together. So far so good though, things could definitely be worse, and really I don’t feel too bad with the exception of being very tired all the time. I think that because I’ve wanted to prepare for the worst that when things aren’t as bad as they could be then I can be ok with whatever I find out. I know that a lot of people would just try to look on the bright side and try to stay positive through something this serious but I’ve found that wrapping my head around the worst case scenario then makes living through having cancer easier for me in general. I don’t want to give anyone the impression that I’m all better now, but I’m not dyeing yet either. I’m still right in the middle of finding out everything that’s wrong so that I know what I need to do to get through it. They say that God doesn’t give us more than we can handle and so far that’s right. I certainly never wanted to be going through all of this again but so far I’m doing about as well as can be expected and that’s in no small way because of Rick. He seems to be able to make all my appointments and keep track of everything that’s going on and keep it all flowing in the right direction. If there were an award for being the most loving and supportive husband he would win that award hands down. It’s ironic how going through the worst time in my life has brought out the best in my wonderful husband and he continues to surprise even me when he steps up to the plate and knows just what to do or what to say to make everything better. I only hope that I’m telling him enough what a great job he’s doing at keeping me healthy and definitely happy. I’ll try to post again later today after I see the lung doctor especially if he has anything new to add to what I already know. Don’t forget to let someone know when they do ar say something that makes you feel good…it matters.