#43 I didn’t sleep much last night


I’m used to having doctors looking at me a little bit differently than they look at other people but the lung specialist didn’t even try to hide the look he gave me. I gave him the one inch thick stack of papers that had all of the scan results and notes from the hospital, he looked at all of them, sorting them into smaller piles, and then he sat down on the little round chair and put both of his hands between his knees and said “Wow, what a story you have”. I had to laugh a little bit, he wanted me to tell him what was going on in my own words so I did, and then he just looked at me for a minute before he gave me his opinion on what could possibly be happening to cause all of the problems that nobody else could fully explain to me. He wants me to go to have blood drawn to check for valley fever. If that’s the problem then I guess I would just be treated for that, but he said if the blood doesn’t show that or any other reason for inflammation then I must have two more biopsies. One would be having a tube put down my throat all the way into my lungs to have a little piece of lung tissue taken for a sample and the other one would have to be done at a different time, having a surgeon make a tiny hole in my neck to send a guide wire under my rib cage down to the swollen lymph nodes in my chest to take a little piece on them to do tests on. I asked if those surgeries could both be done at the same time but, he said that neither one is a very extreme procedure but done at the same time it might be too much for me to handle. What’s funny is that I’m so used to having something going wrong all the time that none of this has had that much of an impact on me. I’m so happy that I decided to keep this blog because I don’t think I could have remembered all of this. Luckily I don’t have to fast for the blood draw but because my port is the only way to get blood out of me I have to call this morning to see if I can just go to my Oncologist’s office to have one of her nurses draw it for me. I’m not sure if a regular lab has anyone on staff who is allowed to access my port. You have to be a specially trained nurse to hook it up I guess. No big deal there, the Oncology office has a clinic right next to the office where it’s set up like a little hospital for chemo treatments. I go back to the lung doctor thursday so that should be enough time to get the results back so I can find out for sure what’s gonna happen next. Seriously, I can’t even imagine what could possibly happen to me next. I’ve never even heard of anyone having so many medical issues unless they were born with some kind of debilitating disease. This is exactly why I have the attitude that I have. I have to laugh at most (notice I said most?) of what happens because otherwise I would be upset all the time. I came home and was going to write another post but I thought should wait until this morning to write it all down because first I had to explain it all to Jason and Robin and mom. Mom and Rick and I all went over to take Jason and Robin back the dishes that they brought over a few weeks ago full of food for us when I wasn’t feeling very well. Rick had made chili for one dish and chicken and dumplings in the other. We didn’t want to send them back empty and Rick loves to cook so we took them dinner and I told them all about my visit with the doctor. I actually had a drink while I was there because I’ve never had an orange cream cicle and I wanted to try it. It has a cake flavored alcohol and orange juice in it and because I normally don’t drink I only had one and started getting tired so we came home. I was fine when I went to bed but I woke up at two in the morning having shock-like pains in my stump(where I had my leg amputated). It was so bad that I got up out of bed and went to run a very hot bath because the heat usually helps those pains go away quicker. I sat in the tub reading my book but the pains didn’t go away so I came downstairs and decided to write this post a little bit early. I did take a pain pill but I think the writing was what helped me get rid of the pains because I’m not focusing on the pain so much. This blog is the best medicine for me, hands down. I guess I’ll just stay up for the day now, I would’ve been up by now having my coffee anyway.

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