When I started this blog I was only trying to keep a record of my own thoughts and keep track of everything that was happening with my cancer but I’m not so sure that it’s working out like I had hoped it would. I tend to be a very direct person and usually don’t have any problem with saying what’s on my mind. I wrote a post the other day that upset some of my family members so badly that now I’m second guessing what I write. I’ve considered starting another blog just for me to rant about how I really feel without giving access to those family members therefore not causing the grief that came with my thoughts at that time. I do want to let everyone I know in on every bit of what I’m going through but I’m having a really difficult time saying anything that upsets the people who I love the most so this is really a problem for me. I just spent another week in the hospital and the only thing they figured out was that there was nothing to figure out. I went in because it hurt to breath and I felt like I had pneumonia again but I was told that it wasn’t pneumonia and to just try to deal with it at home. They didn’t try to down-play what I was feeling, they just told me that I could set up nursing at home to handle the pain. I think that’s a much better idea than spending at least one week a month in the hospital. I need to have the biopsies before I can even think about chemo (not that I want it) so I’m supposed to reschedule the surgeon appointment as soon as I can. Rick on the other hand has gone to his Independent Medical Examination (for the second time) for worker’s comp and it seems as though this one does believe that Rick needs surgery to fix the discs in his neck so it’s possible that we’ll be scheduling another try at him having his surgery. It seems like everything is just going in circles for both of us. I think it’s time for me to start my book and stop just ranting on here. I definitely have the time but I’ve never believed that I could write a book and that anyone would want to read it. The amount of people who read this blog has changed my mind. I may do a few more updates but as far as starting my book…There’s no time like the present.