#52 I did something very bad.


Rick and I have lived in our house for three or four years now and it’s only been in the past year or so that our neighbors have come to realize that we are good people. We ended up in this house because Rick’s youngest brother had gotten married and his new wife who already had a few kids wanted more, at that time all of my husbands siblings had also inherited some money when their father died .  The idea was that Rick’s middle brother who lives in Hawaii wanted to own a house in Arizona for an investment, the younger brother had spent most of his money but wanted a big house to live in. Now lets jump ahead a year. The youngest brother was wrecking the house and did not ever make one payment or pay any of the bills for the entire time he lived here. The wife only actually lived here for I think about one or two months before their fighting had the police coming here all the time to break up the arguments. Rick and I were asked to move into the house and pay the bills and we could live here as long as we wanted, if we stay here until the house is paid for we’ll be given the deed to the house. When we first moved in we found out that his youngest brother had been going out on the second story roof of the house to drink beer(throwing the bottles at the next door neighbor’s dog) and smoke whatever he was smoking and would make a lot of noise that the neighbors hated. He never did clean the house so the carpet is going to have to be replaced (we’re still waiting for that), the whole inside of the house needed to be painted and there were tons of repairs to be done. Rick and I have been doing all the repairs and painting the house as we had the money to do different things to fix it up. It’s just so damn big that it’s taking a while to get everything finished. Now on to my weed addiction. I spend whatever money we have on bills and fixing up broken things in the house so I never have money to buy weed killer and I have an entire front yard and all around my pool full of rocks, so unless I sit out there and pull weeds I will have a lot of messy looking rocks. The first week we were here I remember having to empty out the house of all the garbage and broken furniture and put it in front of the house for large trash pick-up that week. Every time one of the neighbors drove by they would make comments to us thinking that my husband was actually his little brother who they hated by that time. The one that I remember the most was a little old lady calling us white trash. Lets move on to the other day: I have met our new neighbor and have been talking to her and assuring her that she’s in a wonderful neighborhood, although I don’t speak to most of the neighbors much. It’s usually very quiet and I think she’ll like it here. The other day when she and I had spent a few hours pulling the weeds by her pool Rick came to get me to go inside out of the sun and on our way home she and I and Rick were out in front of her house talking and two things happened that I remember very clearly. The first thing was that she told me how she had been talking to the neighbors and getting the scoop from each of them separately on what they had to say about each of us living in our cul-de-sac. She told me that all of them had told her what they thought about each family and that when they told her what they thought about my family they said that we were great neighbors to have and commented on how they all see me out in my yard all the time in my wheelchair pulling my weeds and picking up garbage that gets blown into our circle and just doing random chores around the house. They told her that we are good people and that our yard always looks so nice. I didn’t see that coming. I was a little bit excited about getting such a nice comment from people who I thought still hated me because of Rick’s brother and was not paying any attention to the teenage girl going door to door and coming around to where we were all talking. When she came up to us I said “we’re not buying anything” before she had a chance to get started with whatever she was about to say. She looked at me like I had just slapped her and said “I never said I was selling anything” and she walked away with her head down. I say that to people all the time but her reaction confused me. Now I want to know if she was trying to find someone to help her with something or looking for a lost pet or whatever, I was so rude and I knew I was being rude when I said it but that never bothered me before. I hate it when random people ring my door bell to try to sell me something and I assumed that she was doing just that but now I’ll never know. She just walked away and I was left there feeling like an ass. I wonder how many times I’ve done that? I wonder how many people would have surprised me if I had let them get a wold out before I was rude to them. Karma is definitely a bitch, but I’ll try not to be such a bitch from now on.

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2 thoughts on “#52 I did something very bad.

  1. I like your story–thanks for sharing it. I’m not a proponent of bitchiness, let me clarify that right up front. But what I did find, from a review of the research on self-expression and anger-expression, is that cancer patients who express their emotions, their anger, and even their hostility (!) often do better than those who swallow their feelings (you can check it out at http://wp.me/p22afJ-Ch). So only you know if you have the proper balance, but you don’t need to berate yourself for self-expression. It may very well be keeping you alive!

I would enjoy reading any comments you have, so please leave a reply or any questions!

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