I ended up spending past week or so in the Hospice inpatient center because I was having too much pain to handle at home. They were so great to me and the doctors and nurses helped me to find enough comfort from the pain that now I think I’ll be able to stay home even when I’m having a hard time managing all the physical problems. I had told them that I didn’t want to have any medical equipment at home but I think I would rather have a few things here instead of needing to stay inpatient if I don’t absolutely have to. I’m still getting used to being back at home and I’ve been sleeping a lot and eating like I’ve never eaten before. I guess one of my new meds makes me really hungry all the time and of course I usually only want anything sweet. I think I’ve gained back ten pounds or maybe more but I really don’t care as long as I can get back to having some sort of the normal life I had before all this cancer crap started up again. It could be a lot worse and I’m very grateful for everyone who has been checking up on me although I don’t usually speak to anyone myself because I’m still very tired from all the new meds. I think it’s going to get better as I get used to takeing them and I will be able to do more but I’m definitely not pushing myself to get back into the swing of things too fast. I want to give myself time to get used to the new normal so that I don’t make things worse for myself. Rick and Jesse have found a two-week old kitten that some kids dropped off at Jesse’s work and they are bottle feeding it kitten formula every three hours, it’s too cute but I don’t have any interest in taking care of a tiny baby kitten. I hope it gets bigger fast so that we can try to find someone who will want to keep it forever. Not many people are willing to put this much effort into caring for a kitten so I’m OK with Rick and Jesse giving it a shot to get older and healthy enough to be adopted. They both say that they want to keep it forever but our other two grown cats don’t like it because it’s very noisy and so small that it scares them. Our dog won’t even get close to it. He’s scared of it too I guess. I wouldn’t drop it at a shelter because they would just put it to sleep and if we can try to help it I think we should. I think having this new baby in the house is changing the mood around here and keeping the subject of me all the time, I love that part. I’ve had my breakfast and fed the kitty so I’m going to try to crochet for a little while until Rick gets up and then I’ll go see if I can spend just a few minutes out back with my weeds. I miss doing things outside. Just sitting around makes me feel useless and that gives me more time to think about how bad I feel so I really do need to get back to doing at least a little at a time. Now would be a great time for M&Ms to just find their way to my house. The caffeine and sugar in them really do make me have more energy and put me in a much better mood. I still say that they are going to be my cancer cure. I havent found anything else that has the same effect on how I feel without taking more meds, and they just taste so darn good. I think I may have an addiction to them but if you’re gonna have an addiction then I say” bring on the chocolate”!