Yesterday I was having the worst day in a very long time. I couldn’t get away from the pain long enough to become anything close to a normal happy person. I was going through my house pissed off at the world and everybody in it, I thought that if I did some chores that I would feel better, although I knew that I shouldn’t because I was already hurting so much. I made it through doing most of my dishes, doing four or five loads of my daughter’s laundry (she doesn’t even live here) and sweeping my kitchen and family room when I decided that I had to take a break. I wanted to try to sing a few songs while I caught my breath, and because I had to exchange my karaoke machine a few months ago and never really had the new one set up properly it had to be moved and rewired so that took a few hours to do when it should have only taken a few minutes…then when it was hooked up I couldn’t find my mics because there were extra wires everywhere. I was so pissed off at that point that I took a garbage bag and threw into it all the wires to other people’s random things that had no business being there, and just as I threw the garbage bag into my garage someone rang the door-bell. Of course Bob (our Pomeranian) goes crazy which pisses off Rick who had been getting bitched at all day by me, and when Bob jumped up to run at the door he scratched my leg trying to get by me. I thought that I was going to find the carpet repair guy at the door, he was supposed to come and replace some of the new carpet that was installed improperly, which is by the way very loud, the glue smells to high heaven and they make a huge mess. This day couldn’t have gotten much worse! Rick and I both went to the door so that one of us could hold the dog while the other let the carpet guys in…but nobody was there. I could see the UPS truck leaving and there was a huge box left on my front patio with my name on it. Rick brought me the box and I put Bob back down and I took this great big box into the kitchen. I must have had a huge smile on my face because for the first time all day Rick smiled at me and went back to his computer. It had a beautiful card on the box addressed to me, with a little writing that just basically said that someone was thinking of me and wishing me a pain-free happy day. In the box was the most perfect bunch of sun flowers along with a little tin can vase that looked like a little old milk can. Just beautiful. I instantly was happy again and hurried to get my pretty flowers cut and fed and put into fresh water in their new home. They were really hot so I was a bit worried that they would die yesterday but they didn’t. I carried them from room to room with me for the rest of the day yesterday just so that I could see them where ever I went. I didn’t do anything else around the house after that, I just rested and looked at my perfect gift. I think what made me so happy wasn’t just getting such a great gift, but it was the fact that those much-needed words came from a woman whom I’ve never even met. She is someone who I’ve been talking to on the internet who has also lived this nightmare. I’ve never even spoken to her on the phone. This woman has encouraged me on good days and cried with me on terrible days and I don’t even know her last name. The only way that I could thank her was to send her a pm on my computer. So this is why I’m back to giving myself whiplash with the mood swings. I truly believe that if Rick could have found this wonderful woman yesterday he would have hugged her refusing to let go because she fixed me in a split second. I woke up today and came downstairs to make my coffee, when I saw my beautiful sun flowers on my kitchen table and I smiled. I think it’s gonna be a great day.