#121 Did you hear me this time? Just asking

I’m feeling OK this morning, although I just woke up and I’m already tired. I had an interesting phone call yesterday from someone who was angry with me that I hadn’t told them about my tumor. It took me off guard because I had told this person about it the day that I found out about it and even took them the copy that I had of the report. I guess someone else had gone to this person recently and made a big deal about it and so I was getting yelled at for not making a bigger deal of it myself. I thought that I had explained everything well enough…I guess I was wrong. I didn’t feel the need to flip out about it and it wasn’t a big surprise anyway but how this person didn’t understand the word tumor when I first said it is beyond me. People tend to hear what they want to hear, at least that’s my experience lately, and I won’t be making a bigger deal of anything just to make a point. I was under the impression that everyone that I know has been reading everything that I write on here too, so again…I don’t think I was being secretive about anything. I had been asked by a family member to try not to upset everyone all the time and to try to be careful about how I say things, so that I don’t cause a panic. And I think that I have been careful with my words while still being completely honest about everything. I know that what I write on here could do a lot of harm, and that isn’t what I want at all. I just wanted to not have to repeat myself over and over again every time I find out something new. So, for clarity’s sake, let me be very clear on what’s happening with me lately. I’m mostly just tired and bitchy and don’t have too much pain, and what pain I do have is being managed very well. I do have a small tumor growing back right where the last ones were under my arm and it’s been there since my last surgery. There isn’t a chemo being suggested because I already had the chemo that would have been used on this kind of cancer and they don’t give it to anyone twice because of the damage it does to your organs. My lungs are doing OK, although I still have a cough all the time because of all the damage that I have from the chemo that I had before. As far as I know, there’s no need for panic at all. I’m doing fine right now. I could use more M&Ms though. I keep running out and I don’t notice my dish getting empty until I have just a few left. I really need to make it up to Sam’s Club Monday. We might be going near there on Monday anyway because Rick thinks that we have another defective karaoke machine. I’ve had to return three different machines in the past two years, luckily they were all under warranty so it didn’t cost us anything but time to get them replaced. I think we’re going to have to ask for another brand because it’s hard to believe that I’m getting all the defective machines, and we don’t really use it enough to burn out the lasers that fast. Singing makes me feel better so I don’t like going to turn on the machine and not being able to use it every time. I’m not OK with it only working when it feels like working. I think I should get a few free songs for all the trouble we’ve had from this machine, but I doubt that’s going to happen. Rick stepped into the pool yesterday and stepped right back out, apparently it has gotten too cold for swimming anymore, but I don’t care how cold it is as long as it’s clean and beautiful. It really makes a huge difference in how I feel when I go outside if the pool looks nice.  Now we need to get some more string for the weed eater, it’s just too hard to go out and pull the weeds anymore. Every once in a while I do still try though. If nothing else, I get a little bit more tan, and I could use the color right now. This is the size coffee cup I need this morning.


7 thoughts on “#121 Did you hear me this time? Just asking

  1. “People tend to hear what they want to hear” – very true!! The most important and under valued communication tool is listening! I’ve also found that before you get out what you’re trying to say, the other person is already formulating their response and thinking about getting their own point across. I love Stephen Covey, and one of his points is “Seek first to understand, then to be understood”, I try to remember this when I’m talking to people, but it’s hard, especially when what they are saying is painful or offensive and with me being a raging extrovert and a big talker! Well after your post, no one can say they don’t understand what is going on with you and where you’re coming from on the issue. The pen is mightier than the sword 🙂 So glad you’re having a great end of your week. The pool sounds so beautiful and calming. Wish we had one! But I do get to drive by a river every morning when taking my girl to school, so it kind of fills the “water square” for me. Although there is nothing like the big, vast ocean, the beach is my favorite place of all. 🙂

    • Jenni,
      I think my point today is exactly why I felt like I needed to write everything down. I was getting told that I wasn’t keeping everyone up to date on all the medical stuff so I figured that this way there wouldn’t be any misunderstandings. I think today I’ve earned some ice cream…I’ve been a good girl, I think? 😉

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