#128 50/50


While Rick was gone to the store with my mother yesterday I was up and cleaning my kitchen. I think I only actually worked on the dishes for a little while and wiped off the stove but when Rick came home I was wiped out. I felt like I had been cleaning for hours when it was only about twenty minutes. I had to lay down for the rest of the day except for sitting at the table to have a nice dinner with Rick and Jess. We were looking through the movie channels after dinner and I saw that 50/50 was on but we had already missed the first part of it. I had heard about this movie a long time ago but I wasn’t able to go to see it in the theater, I usually wait for things to be on the movie channels before I watch them. This movie is about a young man who has cancer and it shows all the different things that most cancer patients go through. I was surprised at the accuracy of all the emotions and issues that they were able to fit into the movie. Whoever wrote this movie knew what they were talking about. I was expecting to see a very bad ending but it had an unexpected ending and I’m very happy that I was able to see most of this movie. I do want to try to find it again so that I can see the whole movie start to finish. I have an appointment tomorrow morning with my surgeon to see what his opinion will be on whether or not I should try to have my tumor removed. It seems to me that it has the definite possibility of making things worse for me if anything at all goes wrong. I’m one of those people who always has every possible bad side effect every time that I have any procedure done so I have to find out what could go wrong before I agree to give it a shot. It still amazes me that there are people who still believe that if you have a tumor removed then you are all better, when in reality surgery always has the possibility of making things worse. I’m still waiting to hear from my pcp if he or his PA are willing to flush my port every month for me so that I don’t have to go to an er to have it done every month. Normally, my oncologist would take care of that but since I don’t see an oncologist anymore I have to figure out how I can take care of my port. If I don’t make sure that it’s flushed every four weeks it could just stop working and without the port I have no IV access at all if I get sick and need any kind of medicine. I have had a few issues with needing to have IV meds when I have infections in my lungs. I don’t want to have to go to an er unless I’m literally bleeding to death or have a broken bone or something that I must have fixed right away. Today I’m planning on taking a bath and getting dressed and going out front to see how much yard work I can get done before I have to lay down. I am moving kind of slow today but so far I think I feel OK, just tire like always. Someone had recently suggested that I have my blood tested to see if maybe my fatigue was from anything other that the cancer. I don’t think it is but it might be worth a blood draw to find out for sure. Now I just have to find someone who can draw my blood…hopefully my pcp will agree to do that too?

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2 thoughts on “#128 50/50

    • Susan,
      I could go to the hospital but I’m trying so hard not to ever go there if I don’t have to. I’ve found that they don’t usually treat me very nicely so I’m trying to find out how I can get this done without costing my insurance company a ton of money for a little bit of saline and heparin. If I can have it done at my pcp by his pa that would be much better for me and close by too.
      cin

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