#129 More surgery..I’m Ok with that


I met with my new surgeon this morning about possibly removing this tumor in my lymph nodes and he thinks that he can get it out without causing anymore problems for me. My main concern has been that if I let it get too much bigger then I might not be able to walk on my crutches because of the pain it would cause. I already do have pain from it in my arm and shoulder so I don’t want that to get any worse. I was under the impression that removing this tumor would also help me to not have more cancer spread right away however the surgeon just told me that removing it would not in any way help with my breast cancer, it would only help with the pain. He said that he would go in and look around to make sure that he wasn’t causing more damage than I already have before actually trying to remove it, and if he thinks that there are too many blood vessels attached to it or if it’s attached to my rib cage he won’t try to take it out at all. He did agree with me that I should be put under general anesthesia and then admitted to the hospital over night to make sure that I was doing OK before he sends me home to recover. I told him that I had woken up after surgeries many times screaming in pain so I wasn’t comfortable being sent right home before I knew I was doing OK with the pain. He seemed to be a very responsible surgeon and wasn’t in a hurry to cut me open unless I was sure that I wanted it knowing everything that could happen. I think that as long as he only takes out this one area and doesn’t try to take out anymore lymph nodes then I won’t have any further problems with my arm unless I have more growth there later on. It won’t be a cure by any means but it should help me with the pain in my arm and help me continue to be able to walk on my crutches for a while. He did seem surprised that I’m not having chemo or rads but after I explained everything he seemed to get where I was coming from. He has me on his surgical schedule at the beginning of November so that I have time to see my pain Dr before I have the excision done. I want to make sure that I cover all my bases before jumping into having another surgery. I think by my conversation with him that I’m doing the right thing and that he’ll be very careful not to do any harm. I feel fine today, just tired as usual but I want to try to get some cleaning done while I’m feeling up to it. There’s a very nice breeze outside so Rick opened up the house as soon as we came home from seeing the Dr. It feels good to have answers to my questions, even if I don’t like all the answers at least I not just sitting here wondering about things. Today I’m grateful to Rick for always going with me to see Dr.s and for being fine with whatever I want to do every day…mostly depending on how I feel-today I feel like cleaning. I plan on trying to get some of Jesse’s laundry done and mopping my kitchen floor, hopefully my body will hold out until I get finished with all the chores I wanna do. I think that I would like to have some music on while I work…I definatly need more coffee, apparently one pot this morning just wasn’t enough. This is my grand baby that’s coming soon, I can’t wait to find out if it’s a boy or a girl so we can start getting all the basic necessities that Justin and Ashley are going to need. Not to mention all the frivolous crap that Rick and I just want to get for them. I’m already feeling very giddy about having my first grand baby, and I caught Rick laughing at a baby in the waiting room this morning. He tried to say that he wasn’t in a hurry at all for Ash and Justin to have a child but he finally gave up that argument and admitted that he was anxious for it to be born too.

Photo: Our lil one! :)

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6 thoughts on “#129 More surgery..I’m Ok with that

  1. Hey Cin! Sounds like a fantastic surgeon, so glad you went to talk to him, gathered information to digest and made a follow up appointment. If it will impeded your mobility and hurts more and more when you use your crutch then definitely consider having it out, I know there are pros and cons on both sides of the equation here, but try to keep your quality of life goal at the center of the decision?

    I don’t understand why removing the tumor wouldn’t help stop the spread of cancer, though. I know the ladies having experimental treatments and such keep the tumor to see if the meds are helping, but don’t the rest have them out? Not sure. Well as usual, you are doing a great job taking care of “you” 🙂 I just love your attitude, humor, everything. Thanks for being here with all of us and sharing your stories!!

    I love the baby’s picture. How wonderful!!! This will be so much fun for you, I think it’s just what you (and Rick) need. I really think there is a big plan for all of us and I try not to fight it anymore, but just roll with it and see where it takes me.

    I know caffeine isn’t the best thing for us (and I have a few breast cysts that act up when I get really bad with it, like approaching the book deadline), but I am unapologetically addicted to Starbucks – have you tried their bold blends in the morning? That’ll wake you up, I think! So nice of you to spend your energy on your daughter’s laundry, etc. You are always taking care of other people, so glad they in turn take care of you!!

    Hope you have a good evening. Hugs to all of you, including your furry animals!

    • J,
      I have to admit that when I went to see him I didn’t think that I would ever agree to do this surgery, but he assured me that if he thinks for a minute while he’s in there looking around that he might cause me any more problems he’ll just leave it alone and wake me up. I’m so afraid of making it worse. He did say that because I’m not doing any kind of chemo or rads (and I explained to him why) that I have cancer in my body and that there’s no way to keep it from coming back. He said that unless it was causing me pain that taking it out was pointless. I don’t ever go to Starbucks because it’s too expensive and I like my home-made coffee. Rick has a coffee that he likes from there but with his heart we try to keep him away from too much coffee.
      cin

  2. Hi Cindy, your brave having more surgery. I wish that was all you had to do to get free of this cancer.
    I have started yoga can’t bloody do it but will carry on. Still walking the dog an hour and half a night and no more SE from the Tamoxifen.
    Gone back to work and will go to a conference this Saturday. We are having a stall, not looking forward to it- all bloody doctors and drug reps. Just what I effing need.

    (((Hugs))))

    • Ali,
      I think I’m more of a chicken shit lately with everything going on. 🙂 I miss going for my walks with Rick, hopefully after this thing is removed I’ll have more energy to start going again. I hope you do keep doing your yoga…I hear it’s very calming and great for the body. Try to be nice to the Drs and Drug reps, I know it seems like they’re all involved in a conspiracy to make us miserable but I don’t think they do it on purpose. Sometimes they just don’t understand us.
      All my love to you Ali,
      cin

  3. Hey wonderful lady! Just checking up on you, awfully quiet out here. Hope you are feeling ok? Have you talked to your pain people about getting out ahead of the surgery in Nov so you feel good going in?

    The leaves are starting to change here and the nights are chilly (35 last eve!) I already miss the warm sunshine. The other day on a long car trip, we all rank ordered our favorites seasons for fun. Mine are summer, fall, spring, winter. How would yours go?

    Do you like to decorate at all for fall with pumpkins, etc or do any special baking?

    Well I was just a little concerned and wanted to reach out while I had some time. Sending you and Rick a big hug!

    • Jenni,
      I’ve been away from my computer but I’ll explain why in my post today. Mine is winter,winter,winter then winter again. I don’t like it when it’s warm at all. I never have liked holidays very much, Rick does though so I decorate for Christmas but now that my kids are grown I don’t usually do much for the others. I do like to see all the M&Ms on sale around the holidays though. 🙂
      All my love,
      cin

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