I usually don’t have any issues with making due with what we have, but lately it’s gotten very difficult to manage because Rick still is undergoing medical treatment for his neck, and now we’ve been notified that worker’s comp has determined that he has a permanent partial disability so they want to drop him again. The doctor’s have said that he can never drive a truck again, so on top of everything else he’s going to need to find a career that he can manage to do without hurting himself any worse than he already has. I do have a disability check but it isn’t very much and now with having to pay out-of-pocket for Rick’s heart meds and trying to fix everything that needs fixing in the house I feel like we’re just slowly sinking. It doesn’t help that we have a lot of work to be done on our car within the next month or it can’t be re-registered. I’m always the first one to tell everyone to do the best they can with what they have, and to try to keep a good attitude, but I’m finding it hard to take my own advice these days. I try so hard to just get by, but I don’t know how much longer we can get by on what we have. Thank God for family who has loaned us money for bills when we really needed it and have agreed to be repaid when we finally get a settlement from him getting hurt, but I think it isn’t going to be very much…at least not as much as we had figured it would be, and there’s no telling when or if that will ever come. I’m happy with just being able to pay the bills, and I never go shopping for anything that isn’t necessary. I don’t think I’ve bought anything for myself since last Christmas. I’m perfectly happy with having a roof over my head and food on the table, but even those things are getting to be closer to a luxury. I wish that we could both just go back to work, but with as sick as I am, and as hurt as Rick is all the time I’m going to have to figure out something that would allow us to live normally again. There must be a way that I can still earn enough to keep us afloat until Rick can find a job that will be good for him. I was considering letting companies put ads on my blog but I seriously doubt that it would be enough to help. I need some good ideas on things that both Rick and I could do to fix things, so if you have any I’d be more than happy to hear them. I feel like crap today. I think that worrying about money is effecting my body. I let Jess take my car out last night to see some of her friends, she hadn’t seen them since she was admitted to the hospital so I figured that it would be good for her to get away for a few hours. Right after she left, Rick went to check the mail box and I had a letter from a near-by police station. I couldn’t imagine what any police station would need to send to me, but when I opened it there was a lovely picture of my daughter speeding in my car about two weeks before she started getting sick. Now, normally I would have called her cell and demanded that she come straight back and explain to me what the hell she was thinking speeding in my car, but after everything that we just gone through I just couldn’t do it. There are so many important things in life that don’t seem so important until you get a reality check…and I had just had one with her in the hospital. I did prop the letter/picture up between her medicine bottles, where I knew she would see them when she came home, and we went up to go to bed. I haven’t spoken to her much about it yet but that’s not a conversation that I’ll be forgetting to have. She usually does very well when it comes to driving so hopefully this will ensure that she pays better attention to the speed limit. It’s not like her to get into trouble, she usually does whatever she can to stay out of trouble. When I woke up this morning Jesse and her friend were sleeping in my family room where I usually watch the morning news, so I woke them both up and sent them to her bedroom, and I did mention a little something about the letter and told her we would talk about it later today. It was still really early so I just wanted her to take her meds and try to sleep for a few more hours because she’s still having trouble with her throat. I hope she’s completely healed soon. I know she’s still hurting like crazy. Speaking of hurting…I’m hurting pretty bad myself today but hopefully a nice hot bath will help, it’s worth a try. I already picked all the dead leaves off of my plants this morning because Rick forgot to water any of them while I was gone and they were drying out. He didn’t manage to kill any of them though, so I am grateful for that. They just needed a drink of water and now they look fine again. Today I’m grateful for my daughter continuing to get better and my husband having a good attitude about everything, now I just need to get myself in a better mood and everything will work out as it should.