Being someone’s best friend means a whole lot of responsibility. I have other friends but my #1 top of the list best friend has been proving herself to me in ways that I never dreamed would come into play in our relationship.
When I found out that I did have breast cancer for sure and had started making all the appointments for all the other Dr’s. I kept trying to call Diane in between all the phone calls…but she never did answer the phone for that whole week. We do live less than a 1/2 mile from each other, and if I didn’t tell her about my diagnosis soon I was going to have a huge melt down. I was trying so hard to keep it together so I didn’t make everyone else lose it while I gave them my awful news. I couldn’t wait anymore so I got into my wheel chair and pushed myself on over to her house a few streets away. She was on the phone when I went into her kitchen to find her and as soon as she hung up with whoever she was talking to she looked at me and said “you have cancer don’t you.”, I shook my head yes and we sat down to drink coffee and talk for a while. She told me that she had purposefully been ignoring my calls because she couldn’t take hearing if for sure.
All the time we’ve had to deal with me being sick there was a never-ending flow of friends, family and many gifts, some of paintings, some flowers were sent to me and some people sent me money when I really needed it the most. Let’s not forger the pounds and pounds of M&Ms that I couldn’t help eating…I didn’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings ya know.
Anyway, we have had some people offer to help out around the house or just sit and read with me because my eyes don’t focus very well anymore. But for every ten people who offered to help us out only one or two actually came to help at all. I know people mean well when they offer help but that’s not something that anyone should take lightly. I really did need the help that was offered but we ended up going without or just doing the best we could to keep the house looking at least partially clean. Especially now when I have a 24 hr cough that never goes away. I couldn’t handle getting any more health problems. Here where I live we’ve been getting a lot of dust in the air (even inside through the filters).
When my sister Elaine decided to come to visit and stay with me, literally at my side, she did everything she could do to take care of me. She was amazing at remembering when all of my meds were due and she jumped awake every time I had a coughing fit in the middle of the night. Again I’ll never remember everything that she did but I could never thank her enough.
When Elaine went back home last month my bff Diane literally moved into my guest room so that she and Rick could take turns taking care of me when I needed someone to help me . Between the two of them I’m well looked after. I had trouble all along with letting anyone help me take a bath but I’ve been told to only move when I absolutely have to. I broke down and with the help of a shower chair Diane has now seen all the scars from all the missing body parts and procedure scars. She’s been my friend for about 27 years now and I’ve never let her see all old my scars so I thought she might be a little shocked, she wasn’t and I now have baths more often that I could before. That’s not all she does. I won’t give you a list but she and Rich are taking turns with doing everything in the house, except when Jesse’s friend Danny stays over night to listen for my cough (Jesse works nights) and Rick and Diane are running on empty. I wish that I could do more than say thank you to them all the time but I think that I make it very clear how appreciative that Diane left her own family at her house and came here to care for me.
For those of you who understand bc lingo, it’s 6x9cm now and counting. My lungs are giving me a problem, but only when I want to breath so I’m working on holding my breath as long as I can at a time. I have to get back into bed now . I can’t believe that writing takes all my energy right out of me. My one and only thing left that I really love to do and it’s slowly fading away…just like everything else it seems. I’m trying to stay in a good mood and since I’ve needed him home all the time I decided that Rick should accept an invitation to go our for crab legs. He loves that kind of food but I never did so he’s probably missed out on a whole lot of having it for dinner. I promised him I would still be alive when he came home and scooted him out the door. He really deserves a night with a friend right now.