Tag Archive | wounded warriors

#125 Counting my blessings

It seems like counting your blessings would be the easiest thing in the world to do and that it would just comes naturally to everyone, but I guess I  needed to be reminded to do so. I’m just so used to having to face some extremely difficult issues all the time that it’s become a normal part of my life, I try not to let it get me down and I just do my best every day to stay in a good mood. After the initial shock of getting my bad news yesterday I did find myself in a not so good mood and didn’t know exactly how to process the situation so that I could be of some support to my friend without saying anything what would make things worse for her…then, because of my experience with one medical problem after another, I came to the realization that I already knew what she needed. All I should be doing is asking her how she’s feeling and give her a few ‘tools’ to handle whatever she didn’t already know how to deal with , and that’s only if she asks for my advice. I need to learn that I don’t automatically have the right to make someone else’s troubles my own if they don’t ask me to. I can be so eager to help people that sometimes I don’t know when to just shut my mouth and simply be there for my friends and family. I have another friend that has been struggling with making very important choices in her life and she told me that lately she has been starting each day by thanking the good Lord by acknowledging all of her many blessings. When she told me about doing this, and that it had been helping her to put her whole life into perspective, I thought that it would be a great way to keep from letting any bad things take me down too. I haven’t always been a very religious woman, but these past few months and even years, I’ve been questioning what I do believe in and whether or not I think that I have been a good enough person. I don’t much care what other people think about how I live my life, but it means everything to me to know that I’m doing everything that I am able to do to go to Heaven when I die (many years from now). I think that I started off my life doing everything possible to get into trouble and I never really cared if I was going against what God wanted me to be doing. Now… I do care, and not just because I want to go to Heaven, but mostly because I believe that we only get one shot at life and I want to do the most that I can do to be of whatever kind of help to others as possible. I decided that counting my own blessings was a great way to start, so I thought that I would share with all of you what I consider to be my blessings. Let’s start off with that fact that I’m alive right now. When I was fifteen years old my parents were told that I would not live through having bone cancer in my leg, and if by some miracle I did live more than a few months, because of the chemo I was given, I would never be able to have children. I did live through the chemo and I was able to get pregnant(which came as a huge surprise to my parents), now I have a 20-year-old daughter who is probably the strongest and most driven woman I know, and my 22-year-old son who has had his own issues with his health to come to terms with and is getting married soon and giving me my first grand child in a few months. Both of my kids have had to go through many things that the average kid never has to deal with, because of what I was not always able to do, and I believe that they are both stronger people for their experiences. I am truly blessed that I found a man who loves me no matter what happens, and I believe with all of my heart that we were literally made for each other. God gave me a husband who would hold me up through all of the bad times as well as enjoy the good time with me. We were able to create a life and family that make me happier than I would have ever believed was possible when I was younger, and the good times always come right when I feel like I can’t take anymore bad things in my life. I’m blessed with a very big extended family as well, I have a lot of family members that I don’t get to see very often, but when we are all able to get together it’s like we never left each other at all and pick up right where we left off. I do wish that we were all closer to each other so that we could see each other more often, but the miles that separate us don’t make me love them any less, if anything I’m more aware of what I do have where family is concerned. So that’s it for now, I have many more things to count as blessings, but I don’t want to try to put it all in one post so this will have to do for today. I thank God for all the wonderful blessings that he did give me and I hope that I am able to continue to enjoy each and every one of them as long as I live. I have to give credit where credit is due, so Thank You God! I give you all the glory for the beautiful life and family that you have seen fit to give to me. This is the most family that I have in one photo, but Justin has to have his own picture because he left before we could get him in there too.


#124 I would rather be ALONE!

Just when In think I could tell the future by knowing how everything has been going…today is different. I like to think that by now nothing will ever be able to surprise me again and that I can just sit back and kind of watch everything unfold. Today was going as planned and everyone was going about their own business just like they always do and out of nowhere I get a huge shock. I’m just so damn used to everyone I know making a big deal about me having breast cancer and trying to do or say whatever they think is needed for me to feel any better. I’m not complaining about that, in fact it makes me feel like I’m still here and part of everyone’s thoughts  and lives even if I can’t get out to do much anymore. I was so focused on myself, like I have been a lot lately, that I never thought that anyone that I know would have anything near as terrible as I do to try to get through anytime soon. I do have many friends now who are going through some stage of having breast cancer. Some were diagnosed early in their disease, some not so early and some like me who have advanced breast cancer. I talk to my breast cancer friends every day and we help each other get through whatever is going on that day…but today is different. I know that women with breast cancer can be also having to deal with a plethora of family issues, money problems, side effects from whatever treatments they’re having, so we talk and sometimes laugh…but today is different. I try to be a good friend and make people laugh as much as I can and sometimes I find myself laughing at whatever I’m writing, but today is different. Today I found out that someone who I consider to be a dear friend had a problem that she had to get through without me. I don’t have permission to give her name yet but my friend told me today that she’s been trying to reach me for days because this friend of mine who also has breast cancer now has to learn to live without her leg. I probably could have heard anything else and thought about it for a few minutes and then proceeded to give her whatever support she needed and made a joke and moved on…but this hits a little too close to home for me to be making jokes just yet. It does not in any way make me feel sorry for myself, it does however make me want to take away any issues that she has right now and make her all better. I hate it when people hurt and this pain isn’t just a physical one, it can be a very emotional one as well and takes some getting used to. I know that she reads my blog and until and if she gives me permission to say what her name is I won’t be doing that. I needed to clear my head about this and put some thought into what would be all the right things to say to her to in any way make her ‘new normal’ any easier for her to deal with. I had a friend myself who only had one leg when I lost mine so he was able to teach me how to do everything that I wanted to do, just in a different way. I feel like I need to do whatever I can to help her feel like everything is OK, and that she can and will be able to still feel good about herself and enjoy life to the fullest. I had a few rough patches and still sometimes do find myself getting sick of having to go through life on one leg. If I could fix it so that nobody else in the world ever had to wake up without their leg, or arm, or whatever… I would, without a second thought! I manage to still do whatever I want to do, although these days it all depends on how tired I am from my breast cancer kicking my butt. I just wish that when it came to only having one leg, even if I still had to be this way, that I was all alone.

#35 Tough Mudder? Never heard of it?

My little brother Jason mentioned to me not too long ago that he was entering an obstacle course charity run, although he didn’t elaborate on it much and I figured it was kinda like the charity run I did last year and was excited for him because I know how good it feels to do things like that. Now, this morning when I looked at my FB page I saw a link to a you tube video and checked it out. For those of you who also have never heard of this it’s called Tough Mudder 2012 Arizona. You can check out some videos for yourself on you tube because there’s no way I can explain this to you well enough to give you a good idea of how difficult and crazy this is. Some of the obstacles are called: Arctic Enema, Berlin Walls, Electroshock Therapy(yes they really shock you while you’re going through water), Turd’s Nest, Bump and Grind (crawling over jagged rocks), Devil’s Beard, Everest, Boa Constrictor, Shock on the Rocks, Shake and Bake, Funky Monkey, Hold Your Wood, King of the Mountain, Spider’s Web and there are Mystery Obstacles throughout the course that they don’t tell what they are ahead of time. Now keep in mind that this is a charity event for injured military personnel. Look it up and check it out. You won’t believe that people are willing to do this. I know I didn’t. Below is the description of Tough Mudder from their website.

Tough Mudder events are hardcore 10-12 mile obstacle courses designed by British Special Forces to test your all around strength, stamina, mental grit, and camaraderie. As the leading company in the booming obstacle course industry, Tough Mudder has already challenged half a million inspiring participants worldwide and raised more than $2 million dollars for the Wounded Warrior Project. But Tough Mudder is more than an event, it’s a way of thinking. By running a Tough Mudder challenge, you’ll unlock a true sense of accomplishment, have a great time, and discover a camaraderie with your fellow participants that’s experienced all too rarely these days.

FACT #1 – Marathon running is boring.And the only thing more boring than doing a marathon is watching a marathon. Road-running may give you a healthy set of lungs, but will leave you with as much upper body strength as Keira Knightley. At Tough Mudder, we want to test your all-around mettle, not just your ability to run in a straight line, on your own, for hours on end, getting bored out of your mind. Our obstacle courses are designed by British Special Forces to test you in every way and are meant only for truly exceptional all-around people, not for people who have enough time and money to train their knees to run 26 miles.

FACT #2 – Mudders do not take themselves too seriously. Triathlons, marathons, and other lame-ass mud runs are more stressful than fun. Not Tough Mudder. As hardcore as our courses are, we meet you at the finish line with a beer, a laugh, and a rockin’ live band. It’s pretty hard to take yourself seriously when you’re covered in mud and have just finished an obstacle called ‘Just The Tip’, so please don’t show up at a Tough Mudder without a sense of humor. Just check out the ridiculous team costumes in our event photos to get a feel for the spirit of Tough Mudder.

FACT #3 – You cannot complete a Tough Mudder course alone. To get through mud, fire, ice-water, and 10,000 volts of electricity you’ll need teammates to pick you up when your spirits dip. To get over 12 foot walls and through underground mud tunnels, you’ll need teammates to give you a boost and a push. Tough Mudders are team players who make sure no one gets left behind. To that end, all Mudders are expected to uphold our ideals and exhibit teamwork and camaraderie both on the course and off it. All participants are asked to join us in reciting the Tough Mudder pledge before starting each event.

I never knew my  little brother was such a Bad Ass! Go Jason!!!